I'll be in a 12-hour flight with my toddler; how do I make sure he doesn't get fussy and cry?
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We're doing a 7-hour land-trip, how do we make the trip easy so my little one doesn't cry?
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We like going to toy stores, how do I let my baby go in and go out without crying?
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My child sees something he likes but he cannot have, how do I make him stop without battling with the crying?
So many in the mommy/ parenting forum and Facebook groups raise this issue and parents all over the world want a solution. While it's doubly draining, unnerving, tell me what else- letting our babies cry is healthy. And I mean babies to toddlers and even at any point in one's life, it IS okay to cry.
Here's why: your little love is developing his or her "voice". Go ahead. Lean in instead of trying to make him or her stop with all the bribes, shakes, and false promises.
Tell you what: why don't you calm the storm inside you, the panic, the noise. Let's think we're in-charge. Your little one is trying to express; crying is the only way to, at a certain phase in his or her life. And at every time, be calm, hold him/ her, and say, "It's okay. Daddy is here;
I know you want that. I know you feel upset;
Don't worry, Daddy will just hold you;
Sorry, Mama feels bad for you too;
Come, let's find something else to do;
It's okay, we will sleep soon. We can do this together."
Are you embarrassed by your baby's crying? or the stares you get? or the fact that you cannot calm your baby down?
Don't be. Believe you're in-charge. You are whom your child needs.
Let's ask ourselves really, really quickly: Are we responding emotionally to our little one? Are we being reactive to our emotions when our baby cries?
Cries mean many things: I'm hungry/ sleepy/ feeling sick/ over-stimulated/ I can't poop/ I need a cuddle. Let's see you try and find which one it is.
Don't stop chasing the 'Why', present parents.
Especially for the first-time moms or dads, I know crying pierces the heart, and not a lot of us have high tolerance to these kinds of noise. Let's sit with our emotions; we'll all get better at working on ourselves and being more emotionally responsive.
Toasts!