Hold your tongue! And please, please be still your heart!
Let's ask ourselves these:
1. Is this behavior just a phase? Is my child going through something right now, or does he maybe need attention? Is he overstimulated that's why he is having a hard time to listen?
2. Did I give warnings? Or too many warnings without any follow-up? Or did I just snap and was I about to lose it?
3. Do the words I'm about to use reflect my frustration or anger? Or can I consciously, sincerely offer help and say that I'm here as he goes through his big emotions?
4. Can I wait patiently and talk to him when he's all calm and ready to listen?
As we practice present parenting, we train ourselves to see what triggers or angers us so we can respond mindfully. Remember, the emotional state we are in determines our behavior towards everything, and our ability to respond either well or harshly. And that behavior determines the outcome we want.
So next time that you notice a misbehavior, keep finding out the why and practice present, mindful talking to your child. After all, these are tools your child will use as he/she grows up.
Enjoy present parenting!